Stranger in a Foreign Land

Apparently, there is a kind of Pool Etiquette when older people are taking their Aqua Flex class. When it’s time to start using these barbell-looking things made of foam, the men get them for the women! It’s kind of cute.  I stayed for the full hour yesterday! Well, almost. I took a bathroom break which allowed me to sit for a minute. =]

Today I did my first workout on the machines and with the exercise ball ON MY OWN without the trainer. I had typed out the schedule he made me, adding all the instructions I could remember so I would do it right.

When I first arrived I realized I had forgotten my water bottle, so went into the café to buy one. I wanted a squirt-kind of top so I didn’t have to always unscrew it to take a drink. The only option was “Smart Water.”

At the register, I asked the café girl, “What makes this water so Smart, and how do I open it?” The water was apparently smarter than me!

After much observation and studying, I said to the towel guy, “So, big towel for pool or shower, small towel for workout?” Answer: “Depends on how much you sweat.” Ew.

So I’m already not feeling very cool, very hip. Then I went to the elevator to get up to the second story where the machines are. My knees are iffy, and besides I didn’t want to use up energy on that huge flight of stairs when I had so much work to do once I got there! But I didn’t want to be noticed. Didn’t want anyone to see me waiting for the elevator at the fitness club. A little humiliating.

At this point in The Adventure, mirrors are still my enemy. At Lifetime Fitness, upstairs in the big room with all the machines, there are mirrors everywhere. I mean everywhere. The enemy surrounds me, jumps in front of me no matter where I go or which way I face. All the time, this chubby, middle-aged, decidedly awkward, messy-haired woman stares at me. And she’s bow-legged and her clothes are too tight. She also looks befuddled. It’s just not pretty.

So I look down. Crunching, rowing, hamstring curling, I do not look in the mirror and I do not make eye contact with anyone. They all seem at home here and I am an alien in a foreign land where I do not know the language.

I tell myself, “Don’t even look at other people and what they’re able to do. Don’t be intimidated.” Then I pray for invisibility.

After doing my machine and floor stuff, which didn’t go too badly (I only had to ask two questions), I had some energy left so I got on a treadmill. Thank goodness Phil showed me how to work them on Sunday. I walked for half an hour and went 1.6 miles. The half hour went quickly, listening to music on my smart phone. 

I was starting to feel pretty good about myself, pretty proud, as if maybe I was catching on to how all this goes. Maybe I’m not so dorky after all. But when I tried to get off the treadmill the emergency safety stop cord thing was still attached to my top.

Then I went over and waited for the down elevator. <sigh>

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13